I can remember this deep longing in me for as long as I’ve been alive. The feeling of belonging somewhere else, not belonging where I was, knowing there was more to behold and feel and experience. Knowing there was a deeper truth in the world that what I could see with these earthly eyes. I knew there was a God who created this layered tapestry of earth. I knew that he loved me because I felt love. And that had to come from somewhere. I didn’t know much else about him.

As a sixth grader, I went to camp with a friend. it was there that I learned about Jesus for the first time. It was as if my heart said

Oh, that’s who he is. That’s who has been there all along.




And I began to follow Him and learn about who He says He is. I was surrounded by loving people in our church, and loving parents who supported my choice even though they didn’t choose the same spiritual path. And yet- I always felt out of place.  The other kids grew up with flannel-grams and Sunday School and Bible memory verses and Christian music. The first time I tried to look up a Bible verse we were assigned in Sunday in my borrowed Bible I brought it back the next next week and said “it’s not in there” because I didn’t have  a clue what I was looking for or where to look.

I felt like I was always on the outside of an inside joke. A whole language and culture was created around what it meant to be a Christ-follower, and now that I was dwelling in this land I figured I better get my act together, don the requisite clothing, listen to the appropriate music (well, at least I opted for the indie Christian bands) and starting speaking the language. I thought being a part of the Christian culture was part of following Christ. I know that God graciously used wonderful and wise mentors in my life through this time and through this culture, don’t get me wrong. I have a deep appreciation and respect for many of them still, but I din’t know that I was being set up for a fall and that in growing my fledgling faith God would have to strip away everything I thought I knew about who he was and what it meant to follow him……

(to be continued)

Read more of 31 days of conversation here:  Day 1  Day 2  Day 3  Day 6  Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16


Signup now for my email list and get a little love in your inbox to help you make sure you are getting what you want out of your photo session. Keep up on news and offerings from Jessica Uhler Photography. I promise to share my favorite things with you.

I agree to have my personal information transfered to MailChimp ( more information )

I will never give away, trade or sell your email address. That's just tacky. You can unsubscribe at any time.